January 2022

Acrylic on Canvas

Colored Girl. For a time one would have thought that was my birth name, the colored girl. That was the reference used to identify me, sometimes my name would be included, you know like Denise the colored girl.
Througout my childhood years I silently struggled with being the girl with an adjective. Did they not know I was more than colored? The ingrained struggle changed somehow. Really, I ought not say somehow, because I know exactly when. I had turned 18, and my mother was planning the annual family trip to her home island, St. Vincent and the Grenadines. This time, I figured since I was 18 I would not be mandated to make the voyage, instead I spent days planning with my friends a fun filled unchaperoned house boat trip in the Okanagan. It was guaranteed to be an absolute blast, afterall, we were of adult age, therefore able to be unsupervised. It was our independent summer of wild fun! Only, my mother had other plans. I wasn't as grown up as I thought I was (her words), and would be visiting the islands along with her - fullstop. So off I went. I had travelled to St. Vincent before, only this time it was different. It was as if I had been given new eyes. I saw the sheer beauty in the landscape, the culture, and the people. For one thing, I experienced feeling a true sense of belonging, as everything around me reflected me - the colored girl. And it was beautiful. There were teachers, lawyers, bankers, police, government officials, and the women were curvaceous, with full high bottoms, large voluptuous lips, bright eyes, wild fashioned hair, and dressed in bright colors. For the first time ever, I embraced colored girl in a magical way. Understanding it to mean for me, strength, beauty, vibrant, warmth, love, and grounded. In my lifetime, I give great thanks to that woman, my mother for taking me, as if she knew.